Jesus Saves, Ya’ll

March 23, 2018
Jesus Saves, Ya'll

|| r e s t o r a t i o n || About a year ago, Jesus made a major move in my life…He entered it. Easter weekend of 2017 I had come to the very end of myself. I was completely broken, lost, and unsure of what I was doing with myself. Throughout the chaotic mess of something resembling life, Jesus strolled in and pulled me from the path of destruction I was heading down. I needed a Saviour and He made sure I knew it.

The empty hole in my heart and soul that was longing to be filled, was completed when I accepted Jesus as my Saviour. I know longer tried to fill that hole with boys, booze, or the tearing of others down in order to lift myself up. I realized that I could not save myself, and instead had to accept the saving grace of someone so much bigger than myself. The love, grace, and mercy of our Creator through Jesus, is absolutely life changing!  He takes your brokenness and works with it. He heals. He restores. He makes changes I never in my wildest dream thought were possible! My faith in the work of Jesus on the cross has and is continually transforming my life. He made beauty from ashes and I’m positive that if He can do it for me, He can do it for you! All it takes is a little faith.

If you’re looking for purpose to this crazy roller-coaster called life, I have an answer 🙂 The bible states no person is too far gone for the gospel. Jesus hung out with sinners over the righteous, after all. Please feel free to contact me if you ever need an ear to listen, or someone to speak too. Chances are I know where you’re at, and I know I can help get you out.
photo credit: country shooter photograpy

Why We Need God’s Mercy

March 8, 2018
Why We Need Mercy

|| m e r c y || Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about how the Old Testament seems to paint a God of anger and wrath. This wrath was something I battled with for a long time. How could the creator of the universe truly extend limitless grace and mercy towards a sinner like me, if in one swift movement of His hand, He could wipe out entire nations because of their sins? I struggle daily with sin, so why was I not worthy of that wrath? I see now that that total fear of God allowed me from experiencing the true love God had intended for me… So wrath, what do we do when fear is holding us back from experiencing God’s love, mercy, and grace?

I now look at the Old Testament and see the beauty of the promise of Jesus Christ. Through Jesus, we no longer have to fear God in a terrified way, we get to fear Him in an awe type of way. Knowing that we deserve that wrathful punishment, but instead, get to experience His love through His son, is the ultimate show of His mercy! We aren’t in any way worthy, but Jesus made sure we were welcomed by being the ultimate sacrifice for our messes. If anything, the Old Testament is a compass that points directly to His love extended to us through Jesus. He saw His people were failing miserably so He chose to send His son instead of His wrath. That just shows how much His love for us is! Jesus came to save us from God’s wrath and ultimately death.

The Old Testament also points out just how faithful God is. Even though people continued to mess up and turn from Him, He remained faithful through His promise of sending a Saviour. He makes it clear that we aren’t perfect, but He still is willing to extend His mercies daily. He no longer sees us by our sins, He sees us as clean and forgiven through Jesus Christ. As we read about the wrath of God and knowing we no longer have to experience it, we can really truly appreciate the ultimate gift and sacrifice of Jesus Christ.


Where Is Your Happiness Found?

February 26, 2018
Where Is Your Happiness Found?

|| h a p p i n e s s || Is there something missing from your life right now that you think if you had it, you’d be so much happier? Is there a promise you’re trying to wait on from God, but He hasn’t yet released it to you? Is there one thing you desire with every bone in your body, but it’s just a bit out of your reach or even out of your control?
How does that make you feel? Annoyed? Disgruntled? Frustrated? How about angry?

Yep, I’ve been there. I’m still there depending on the day. We all have this innate desire in life for happiness and contentment. We long to find fulfillment and purpose and sometimes dictate to ourselves that if I get “X” then I’ll be “Y.” But where do we turn to when we long to find that true happiness? I know we all have our “well if I just had this then, I’d be happy” or “I know God’s going to bless me with this, but I’m stuck here I waiting until He does” lists. Lists that we use to tell us when we think we can finally be happy & fulfilled. But what happens if the thing you’ve prayed for for so long doesn’t happen as soon as you’d like? Or what if the material object you thought would bring you happiness, leaves you just as empty as before?

God has slowly been teaching me over this past year, that as a Christian, my happiness is not meant to be found in worldly things. He’s shown me that the newest clothes, the fanciest car, or even the right relationship is not going to bring the fulfillment & joy that I had been searching for. Yes, I think God places desires in our heart as promises to us to add to our happiness, but I know that He doesn’t want us to base our happiness on receiving these promises. If anything, when we start to do that, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment because I think we all know that often these promises don’t come as quick as we would hope.

I also know that by saying that, it’s easier said than done…It’s hard to not feel like life’s a big game of playing keeping up with the Jones’s. That everyone else around you is gaining what you sincerely desire & you’re constantly getting the short end of the stick.

But what happens when you get everything in life that you wanted and you’re still not satisfied? What happens when the thing you thought would give you all the happiness in the world, just doesn’t fill that void? It’s been said that money can’t buy happiness, and man, isn’t that the truth!

The big question that I  have felt God asking me these past few weeks is “What if I never bless you with that? What happens if the one thing you’ve been praying for doesn’t come soon? Are you going to just sit around and be sorry for yourself while you wait? Or are you going to live this life I have blessed you with and find your happiness in me while you wait?”

Turns out, life is just not fair. Period. We all have different paths we are on & we are all at different points in our lives. So playing that comparison game is only going to leave you feeling unsatisfied. Life has ups & life has downs… joy & tragedy. But if you continually focus on finding your happiness in worldly things, you’re going to constantly be coming up short. Things comes & go & people are always changing. Instead, God teaches us in Psalm 37:4 to find our happiness in the Lord & He will give us the desires of our hearts. God is telling us that He is to be our main source of happiness & our true source of contentment. He is unchanging & He is always faithful. He is the one who always has our best interests at heart, even if we don’t understand what He is doing in our lives.

One thing that always remains true is the love of Jesus. He is the one who is always on the side line cheering us on when we feel like we are all alone. He is the one who is there to comfort us when we are grieving. He is the one who knows our hearts through & through & know’s what we truly need & when we need it.  He is the one who we can count on to always be consistent in His ways. He is the only one who can truly satisfy that ache of our longing hearts. That hole in our hearts that we constantly try to fill with objects and people is only meant to be filled with the love of Jesus.

By learning to base our happiness in our Creator- the One who loves us more than anything else- we can find true happiness amidst a world that seems to be falling apart at the seams.

Don’t let your best days waste away because you’re busy chasing the high of happiness found in continuously attaining bigger & better things. Be grateful for what you have been blessed with now & see how Jesus can change the source of where you find your happiness 💕

Psalm 37:4






Photo: Country Shooter Photography

Emotional Healing

Let’s Talk Mental Health

February 11, 2018
Let's Talk Mental Health

|| m e n t a l  h e a l t h || let’s talk mental health for a hot minute. Depression. Anxiety. Worthlessness. I know the struggle all too well. The stigma around mental health is not as taboo as it once was, but I still feel that the shame of admitting that you’re not okay is just as real today, as it ever was. It can be a huge chore just to pull yourself out of bed somedays. I know that pretending you’re okay seems to be the only option. I know that actually diving into your issues can seem downright unbearable. Segregation comes easy, & distancing yourself from people who truly care may feel like the only option. The downward spiral into darkness as you pull away, continues to grow deeper & deeper until you can’t even see the light at all. At your darkest it seems like this is your life. It feels like nothing will or can ever change & at times it feels like you are destined to be this way forever. That dark place is empty, scary, hopeless, & lonely. Until you’ve felt the ache of mental illness I don’t think you really understand how hard it is to open up & be vulnerable…but man oh man is it necessary! We have an enemy who comes to kill, steal, & destroy, and the biggest lie that loser will tell you is that you are alone & nobody cares. But it NEEDS to become your truth that it is a LIE.

From the depths of my hopeless depression, Jesus placed me in the midst of people who not only helped me climb out of that hole, but they sincerely loved & cared about getting me out of it. Jesus helped me to realize the lie for what it was. People DID care, I DID need help, & Jesus showed me that I seriously could not do it on my own.  There is hope! There is always hope. Trust (as hard as it is)that Jesus will bring you into a brighter future, & trust that Jesus will show you people who not only will help, but want to help. Cling to His word, for it is truth, & take that first step! You are worth so much more than you know. 💕 This will NOT be your life. If He can help get me out, He can help get anyone out.

Hebrews 6:19 “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”


You Were Never Meant To Be Someone’s Option

January 14, 2018
You Were Never Meant To Be Someone’s Option

Having several options in life is undeniably a perk we are blessed with. The option of who your friends are, the option of where you choose to work, and even the option of where you decide to call home. You get the option of what to do with your free time, and the ultimate option of how you decide to live your life. These options are based on the free will that we all have, and are all important aspects of who we become. Different options impact the choices we end up making. But what happens when you find yourself as one of the options in someone else’s life? What do you do if your constantly just treated as one of many choices? Do you stay and wait it out? Hoping and praying that you’ll eventually be chosen? Or do you turn around and hit the ground running?

If there was one word that sums up my life, it’s striving. Striving for love. Striving for perfection. Striving to just be wanted. I constantly was striving for that perfect relationship. I wanted to find someone to make me happy so incredibly bad that I was forcing certain people into my life that were never meant to be there. I was struggling to cram pieces of a puzzle together that were never designed to fit and would then end up complaining when I found out my puzzle was a disaster. I clung to guys that were not right for me, all in hopes that one day they might be, if I just waited long enough.  I put myself through some dark and rough situation-ships all because I thought I was no one without someone.

I look back to the relationships I was trying to force in the past few years and in all honesty, it makes me cringe. If only I would have listened to my friends! I am not saying that it’s all the guys fault, it takes two to tango after all. But all I see is a broken and desperate girl who was clinging to the hope that a broken situation-ship will miraculously turn into a blooming romance. The relationships were just two unknowingly broken people struggling with their inabilities to express emotions and it always lead towards a path of destruction.  Every single time.  After multiple failed attempts at holding on, eventually someone was getting their heart broken. I was on both the receiving and giving end of this heartbreak, and instead of taking time to heal the pain I felt inside, I would slap an emotional band-aid on it, ignore it and move on to the next one. I found that every relationship was getting worse and worse and I was literally putting myself through hell bending over backwards for guys who didn’t honestly care. I stayed unhappy just so I could call some disaster of a relationship mine. Can you relate?

I wish I could go back in time and tell that poor girl to save herself from all the unnecessary heartbreak by simply taking a step back. I wish she would have learned that being alone is okay. That taking time to figure out her pain, is okay. It’s okay to be broken. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s okay to be an utter and complete mess for a while… But it’s not okay to depend and expect a guy to fix that mess. I wish I could tell her that when she was told that she didn’t need a man to be happy, it was the truth. But I know that being in the grasps of those dark emotions and having blinders on to just how much of a mess you are inside, it’s next to impossible to see the light. It’s hard to understand that you deserve better and that there is someone better. That there is a chance for you to change, and that it is okay to walk away from toxic people who bring you nothing but pain. But I also know that when you are so lost and so hurt that you can’t see the relationship for what it truly is, it’s an entirely different mess of its own.  That girl never would have listened.

I understand now that I would cling to those fleeting moments of connection because my soul was longing to be whole. I would look to someone else to fix my problems because it was hard for me to face them myself. I let other people treat me like garbage and get away with it because it was easier than being alone.  I treated other people just as bad because it was hard to worry about someone else’s feelings when I couldn’t even face my own. It was an ugly place to be in. I no longer blame the guys for all my pain, because I didn’t expect any better from them. I wasn’t innocent in any of the relationships and instead of walking away, I held on to something that was slowly tearing me apart. I was broken, and they were too. It’s a less than ideal situation to base a relationship off of… It hurts when you’re treated as an option, rather than a priority.

But, there is hope! The man God intends for you will not see you as one of many options, he will see you as the only option. True words right there ladies! If he isn’t giving you the time of the day, why are you wasting so much of your precious time and energy forcing him to pay attention to you? Don’t you think you’re worth more than someone who is putting in minimal effort and giving you less than mediocre quality time? Shouldn’t he want to genuinely be there with you? The man that God has chosen for you will not play games, he will not call one day and ignore the next, he will not give you mixed signals, and he will not treat you like you’re just a side piece. The man that God intends for you will not have just a few of the qualities you’re looking for and then a few that if you try really hard you can make fit. He will be the perfect match because he was intended for you and only you. You won’t have to force it and you will know it’s the perfect fit. God wants to be involved. So will you allow Him?

The moment I released finding the perfect man for me into God’s hands was so unimaginably freeing. I stopped worrying about “missing out” on meeting him, or forcing someone who I deep down knew was not the right fit, to be the right fit. I now know that God will take care of finding the perfect man. Let God be your matchmaker. You can try to force any old Joe blow into the mold of Mr. Right, but at the end of the day you’re only going to cause yourself more heartbreak when it crashes and burns. I know that no relationship is perfect, and every relationship has it’s ups and downs… but forcing something that was never meant to be is only going to add to your burden. If you wait on the one that God created for you, you’re not going to be disappointed.

I don’t know when dating has gotten so messy, but it’s a war zone out there. You constantly are having to live life on the defense because you never know when the guy you’re falling for is going to duck out, even if things seem to be going fantastic. Honestly, it’s exhausting. It’s time consuming and putting your heart on the line is difficult. As women of God we are taught to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and this is even more crucial in the dating world that we know today. You honestly may have to watch out for wolves in sheep’s clothing. Just because he says he is a man of God, doesn’t mean he is the guy for you. Create boundaries, stick to your values. Don’t bend. If God has placed characteristics in your heart that you are looking for in a partner than believe he will provide the man that has those qualities.  Don’t bend your desires just so you can find any man to marry. Wait and focus on what God is telling you. If the answer is wait, then as hard as it is… wait.  You know He knows what’s best.

I finally learned to take a step back and I allowed Jesus completely into my life- including my love life. I started working on becoming the whole person God intended for me to be before I started searching for another whole person. I’m not a half looking for someone to make me whole, and I don’t depend on anyone else to fix what I can’t. The right person is going to add to who you are, not complete you. The only person who can truly satisfy the parts that are missing in your life is Jesus. If you base your happiness and your striving on material things or people who constantly are coming and going, how can you ever be satisfied? Take your single years to search for God. Take the time to develop the most important relationship you will ever have. It is life and death after all.


Lamentations 3:25   The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.


Curing the Christmas Blues

December 27, 2017
Curing the Christmas Blues

Typically, the Christmas season is a time of love, laughter, joy, and celebration. The joy of spending much needed time with people you cherish the most, the exquisite beauty of the decorated tree and lights, the excitement of waking up Christmas morning to exchange gifts, and ultimately should be about the celebration of the greatest gift of all- the birth of Jesus Christ. So where do you turn when your Christmas season isn’t turning out to be what you expected? How do you find joy in a time that might be anything but joyful at all?

Christmas is known around the world as the most wonderful time of the year, and generally, for the majority of people, I believe it is! But I have come to realize that for some, it can be one of the most heart-breaking times of the year. Another year without a loved one, another year where the lack of money stops you from giving what you truly want to give, and another year to realize just how lonely you really are. The usual joyous Christmas season can quickly end up becoming one of the most dreaded and heart-breaking times of the year. The feelings that accompany the way that Christmas is experienced is different for everyone, it all depends on your circumstances and your viewpoint from those circumstances. Does your focus on what you’re lacking, allow your joy to be lost? To quote Forest Gump:

“life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”


I am sure that for many people reading this, you feel like every chocolate you choose, it ends up being one of those gross jelly filled ones. You may be constantly striving for one of the delicious caramel filled ones, but always end up disappointed when what you want, and what you get, are two vastly different outcomes.  In life, it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of only seeing what we are lacking. It’s easy to complain about the things, people, or physical objects we don’t have, rather than being thankful and rejoice in the things that we do have.  It’s easy to take a one-way ticket to depression-ville, rather than spend a little bit of our time focusing on the blessings that are sitting right in front of us.  Now I know that it is sometimes just downright hard to search through the bad, and focus on the good. But I have also come to learn that even the smallest seed of gratitude can grow into something beautiful amidst the mess.

I initially started out experiencing the Christmas season on the other side of that joy this year. Certain circumstances put me in a situation where I would be doing Christmas a little bit different… the joy just wasn’t there for me like it had been in past years.  While I struggled with some tough decisions I quickly got lost in a “poor me” mentality, which was quickly sucking all the happiness I typically felt, out of the Christmas season.   It was so dang easy to get lost in all the ways I wished my situation was different. I was constantly praying over my situation and how I wished these circumstances were not as they were. As Christmas drew closer I became more and more bitter that God wasn’t changing things like I had asked.  In my bitterness I was quickly becoming some nasty combination of nasty old scrooge and the Grinch and thought about just skipping Christmas all together.

I was flipping through my bible Christmas morning and came upon John 10:10- “the thief does not come except to steal, to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.”   I had tagged this bible verse a while back because past me, knew future me, would need this one day… turns out today was this day.  It really hit home to me that this season was not about what was lacking from my life, but what was present. Christmas isn’t about me. It isn’t about you. It isn’t about our hopelessness, and it isn’t about our circumstances. Christmas is really and truly about the ultimate present God gave to us, and that was Jesus. That’s where the true joy is found.  He came to earth, so we could truly experience life full of hope, fulfillment, joy, and contentment in every season of our lives.

I truly believe that God doesn’t want us to get lost in what we lack- physically, emotionally, or spiritually. He wants us to focus on what we do have, and that’s Him.  I believe that God didn’t change my situation this Christmas because He wanted me to take a step back this year and see Christmas for what it really was: His gift. His presence. Every year I get so wrapped up in putting significance on very unimportant things- like the presents, and the tree, and the lights, and who I’m with (which don’t get me wrong is very important) and where I’m at. In the chaos I lose the true reason for the season. In the past, the Christmas season had become superficial to me.  Even though I always knew the true meaning of Christmas was about Christ’s birth, I never truly celebrated it. This year I think God saw me walking back down that same path, and in typical fashion He threw me for a loop. He changed my circumstances so I had to changes my focus. He wanted me to focus back on Him and to focus  back on the true meaning of Christmas.  This year I believe He wanted it to be different, He wanted it to be about the gift He gave to me… the gift He gave to all of us, Jesus Christ.

Christmas truly is about how God sent His one and ONLY son to come and save us not only from our enemies, but from ourselves. He sent His precious son to an unsafe place so that we can have everlasting life through Him. He was also sent so we can have hope for the life that we live now. Let that sink in. He came to give us life… He truly does want what is best for us in our lives. Yes, things come out of left field we never expected, and truly awful things come crashing into our lives that we never deserved or asked for… I know we will never understand why these things happen, but I do know that God work’s all things out for good of those that love Him (Romans 8:28). While not every day is good, there is good in every day. If you base your happiness and your joy on what you do or do not have, you’re always going to be on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Things and people come and go continuously. But one thing remains constant and that is the love of Jesus. Knowing who He is and knowing that His love for us never changes, is the one thing we can count on day in and day out.  That is where we find our joy.

It’s so easy to forget and brush aside the fact that Jesus came down from Heaven where He was living the best life, to Earth, where He knew He would be living the worst part of His life. He came to be persecuted, rejected, and ultimately killed, all so that we could have hope for something better. He did all of this willingly, and knowingly that people would deny Him, would say He was a fake, and would turn their backs on Him all-together. I don’t know many people who would die for someone, knowing that that person whole-heartedly loves and accepts them; let alone dieing for someone knowing that that person may never love them back. So just imagine how deep and how wide that love is! God sent Jesus to save us from the hopelessness, from the disappointments, and from the heart ache we experience, by finding our true joy in who He is.  Christmas shouldn’t be about what we are lacking, but about what we have gained.

While life is like a box of chocolates, and we truly never will know what we are going to get, one thing we can rest assured of is that Jesus is constant. He is always with us always and He came to Earth so that we can have life! We can rejoice in the fact that while we will face trials and tribulations in the world, we will one day be set free from the pain that we experience day to day. The true joy of the Christmas season is found in the birth of a baby that was born in a manger. In the middle of the night, in the most unexpected way.

John 10:10

Emotional Healing

You Can’t Hide From Your Emotions

December 8, 2017
You Can’t Hide From Your Emotions

I have to admit…It has taken me a long time to learn there is no shame in showing your emotions. When was the last time you sat down and had a good cry? When was the last time you allowed yourself to really feel and process a situation that impacted you in a negative way? I was asked this question the other day and I realized the answer was “I can’t even remember.” Crying? Crying showed the world that I was hurt, and crying in front of someone showed others that I had a brokenness inside that I wasn’t ready to admit was there. I used to think that my deep emotions that accumulated from my past were something that should never talked about, rarely felt, and just stuffed into the furthest and deepest corner of my mind. I always dictated there was a time limit on how long I was allowed to feel bad about something and then I had to just force myself to forget it and move on, even if I wasn’t healed.  If I forgot about the event, then I could pretend that these painful wounds weren’t real. I could pretend that deep down, I wasn’t hurting.

I grew up in a relatively conservative family I guess you could say, where if someone was emotionally hurt, the wounds were just ignored in hopes that they would eventually just fade away. The negative situation was rarely resolved, and it was expected that we would just ignore the conflict and carry on as before. If that wasn’t going to happen, then I learned that you just ignore the person all together.  The ability to emotionally open up was not welcome, so rarely did any conflict ever resolve itself. Ignorance is bliss, right? I learned that If you just pretend you’re not hurt, then you’re not…. If I just tucked my emotional wounds away, there was hope they would eventually be forgotten. Emotions in general weren’t something I would say I ever became comfortable with. I learned to hide them well and the thought of them made me seriously uncomfortable, as I am sure many members of my family felt as well.

This is how I lived a majority of my life. Afraid of my emotions. Afraid to confront the uncomfortable emotion I was feeling. Afraid to let the pain of being hurt one more time, in to my heart. So, in order to protect myself, I gradually and unknowingly built up emotional walls. I built walls that some days seemed so tall, so wide, and so downright impenetrable, that not even an atomic bomb could break through.

I loathed feeling any uncomfortable emotion, as I’m sure many do. It’s never fun to be hurt, but by denying that I was, I slowly became less and less vulnerable to any emotions and my wall started to come through in my personality. If you hurt me, I was definitely not going to talk to you anymore, and if I hurt you, I would just pretend I didn’t in hopes that the talk we would have to have about “feelings” would never come about. I found that I would continuously pretend that the pain of rejection and abandonment wasn’t there and wasn’t impacting the choices I was making.

As I grew in my relationship with Jesus I tried even harder to forget my past and turn to Him. But at each turn I was met with more frustration and more anger as I continuously found my emotional wall getting in the way. I thought that because scripture teaches us to leave our past behind us, that I could just ignore it and pretend it didn’t bother me anymore. What I didn’t realize was that Jesus kept allowing this wall to get in front of me so that I was forced to confront it. He needed me to accept that it was there so that I would start to allow Him to tear it down.

He was making it clear that I needed to confront the painful emotional moments from my past in order to heal. I was no longer going to be able to blindly dance around the pain of my past in hopes that Jesus would forget it and give me a free pass to become the person He was sanctifying me to be.  It was terrifying sitting on the outside of the pain and wondering how it was going to feel to dive back in. The fear of feeling the pain was keeping that wall stuck in place. But you know what was even scarier? The loneliness that faced me if I kept that wall up. Jesus quickly made it known that He was going to be with me during the whole walk. That He was there to hold my hand through all the messiness and that He wasn’t ever going to give me anything more than I could handle. He was showing me how all the pain, rejection and shame I had ignored, was still carried around with me.

He slowly started to show me that if I kept pretending and continuing to ignore the fact that I had been hurt in my past, I was keeping myself from truly being free in my future. The past feelings of rejection, of abandonment, of shame, and of unworthiness was my dark and gloomy shadow. A shadow that constantly covered me in its darkness. If I didn’t deal with these wounds and allow Him to move in to heal them, they would follow me around forever.  This shadow and this seemingly impenetrable wall kept people who truly cared about me at arms length. It stopped me from even accepting the full capacity of the love of Jesus.

All I had to do was ask God to poke a peephole in that wall. I invited Him to start tearing that wall down brick by brick. It’s been slow, it’s been hard, it’s been eye opening, but mainly it’s been freeing. I still have days where I don’t know how things will ever change. But one thing I do have, is the Hope that God promised to us all repeatedly throughout the Bible. Jesus didn’t save us from our sins to let us sit around and live in the oppressive guilt of our pasts. He didn’t save us from our sins and from the curse of death to just leave us to wallow in our shame. He wants us to be over-comers! He wants to save us from the hurt of our pasts! He is sitting on the outside of our walls waiting for us to invite Him to peep over. He is ready to tear them down, if you are willing to allow Him to.

God wants to come in to every emotion of anger, of rejection, of abandonment, and of shame. He wants to show you just How loved and valued you are. It honestly doesn’t matter if you feel like God is working or not, He is there. Are you willing to accept it? My dear, you are the child of the most high King! You didn’t just slip in to salvation on the coat tails of others. You didn’t just slide in the back door unnoticed by Him. You aren’t the one person in this world who believes in the redemption bought by Jesus’s sacrifice and then in turn, that redemption doesn’t equivocate to  your past. If He can do it for Paul, He can do it for you. You need to know that He knows you. He knows every thought, every hurt, every emotion, every choice, and every mistake you’ve made. He knows, and He still wants you to come to Him for healing. His love for us is nurturing. It’s there to heal every wound, to heal all trauma, and to create in us a new identity. Jesus is always ready to get down and dirty with the ugly that is left inside of us.

What I have come to realize, is that God gave us emotions for a reason- all the good, the bad, and the ugly. They help us work through every aspect of our lives.  He rejoices with us in the good and he holds our hand through the bad. I truly believe if it hurts us, it hurts God. He doesn’t want to see us in pain… But while we live in this world it’s something we need to learn to deal with. The hope and faith that He wants to be with us through the pain and the valleys is life changing. This hope is the anchor for our soul.

I’m not saying coming to terms with your past is fun. It’s not easy and it’s somewhat downright discouraging when you feel like you can’t overcome. But I’ve learned (and am still learning) to be patient through it all and to trust in Jesus to walk me through this journey. He is the light in the darkness after all. As I dove back into my relationship with Jesus, I often looked at my past wondering where Jesus was during all the pain. I wondered why He allowed me to get so deep into the emotional torment of myself. Why didn’t He didn’t save me a long time ago? It was made so clear to me that it wasn’t that God wasn’t there, but it was based on the fact that I never let God in to handle my emotions. While I always believed God was real, I never invited him in to my mess. Jesus was always there watching and waiting to be asked for His healing, His wisdom, His guidance, and His love, but I was so stuck on the idea of fixing myself and doing everything on my own, that I never allowed Him to come in to truly come in to be the King of my life.

God was there in all the rejection. God was there in all the pain. But by keeping Him at arms length the whole time, I never let Him in to the painful emotions I was feeling. He was in the background waiting to be invited in to nurture every loss, every mistake, and every time I was told I wasn’t good enough. He waited through every heart break and through every emotional trauma.  Every trial- Jesus was there. You see, Jesus is a gentleman, He will not come crashing through your walls like the kool-aid man. Even if some days I wish He would come in like a wrecking ball, I have learned that He will wait until He is invited into the brokenness. He wants to come in and to take hold of your wounds and heal them, but you have too let Him. Learn to have patience as you walk this journey, it is not going to happen over night. But Jesus wants every single person to overcome our pasts. Nothing you have done is a surprise to Him. He knows, He forgives, and He wants us to be reborn into the life that He has planned for us. Know that you are not alone in this journey.  He is there to guide you and hold your hand through every situation you may face.

Jesus has made it so known to me that He is always here. to help us process our emotions. He has made it known to me that my past will not dictate my future as long as I am willing to accept His help… The hope of a future and the peace that comes along with knowing Jesus is our SAVIOUR has quickly become the comfort in my affliction and I hope He can become yours too.

Romans 8:31

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